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Parody Songs, Poetry, Etc
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The
Night Before Christmas, GD Style!
(As told to Jason "Peebo" Low)
'Twas the
night before Christmas, and all through the complex,
not a creature was stirring. ('cept Brianna, for bomb-checks.)
Everyone was asleep; she could hear Gina snore-- it
sounded like thunder even through the blast door.
She went from room to room, ensuring everything was
safe; Wouldn't want a repeat of last week-- Almost levelled
the place!
Anyway, when finished, she headed for bed, but she heard
in Lab 3 noise to wake up the dead.
She got there and gasped, and he turned with a start:
it was the big elf himself! (And I sure don't mean Tark.)
"Brianna!" he whispered. "Your help I
need the best; See, my sleigh's been wiped out by your
triple-A gun nest!"
Bri' blushed and sorried as she remembered her goof;
she forgot to turn off the defenses on the roof.
"No problem," she said, "I've just the
thing for you. Just let me find the keys for Gina's
Mark-Two!"
She scurried around, looking for the keys, while Santa
enjoyed his milk and cookies.
Finally, to his hand, the keys she did pass. "Sorry,"
she repeated, "but I think it needs gas."
"Not a problem, dear girl," he said with a
grin, "Won't need any fuel, just Prancer and Blitzen."
To the roof they went. Bringing the car near, Brianna
watched Santa hook up the reindeer.
"Thank you, my dear," as he flew above the
lawn, "You saved this year's Christmas! (I'll have
it back before dawn.)"
She went back downstairs using the lift, and blinked
when she saw the mountain of gifts.
"When'd he have time?" she wondered aloud.
"Was with me all the time, so when? and how?"
She jumped with a start as she heard some more sound,
somebody else was coming around!
"Brianna!" Cheetah whispered, her eyes tired
and red, "Quit peeking, you doofus, and get back
to bed!"
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