Top Tens & Other Lists


You Know You've Been Reading Too Much Gold Digger When..

  • You chase a car halfway across the city just because it has the vanity plate "GINA06" on it.
    • And you wonder why it's not flying instead of driving.
  • You've memorized the addresses and phone numbers of every "DIGGERS G" and "DIGGERS B" in your local phone book.
    • And out-of-town phone books.
    • And you've ever called any of those numbers just to see who answers.
  • You saw the entry in the IMDb for "Gold Digger" and just about wet yourself before you realized it's for that crappy Disney movie from a few years back.
  • You wear a leather jacket and fedora everywhere.
    • And carry a $5 universal remote and call it a light-gate controller.
  • You can answer every trivia question in the FPFC chat room as soon as it's posted.
  • You can post trivia questions in the FPFC chat room without needing to search the back-issues first.
  • You think "Doc" Brown from Back to the Future must've stolen one of the Ginamobiles in between movies 1 and 2.
  • You actually use "Zoinks!", "Great Googaly Moogaly", and/or "Jinkies!" in conversation.
    • And your friends/relatives are used to it.
  • You watch a movie with werewolves in it and get upset because they don't show any other werecreatures.
  • You rent Chasing Amy, fast-forward to the scene with the GD T-shirt, cue it up there so the next renter will see that first, and then return it.
  • You have ever seriously considered building a Peebo.
    • You HAVE built a Peebo (fake or otherwise).
      ..and if 'otherwise', stay away from me :)
  • You know where and what ALL the in-jokes in [any|all] issue[s] of GD are.
  • You've written more than one GD fanfic.
    • Series.
      • And you want to write even just ONE issue for the book some day.
  • You see a Lucky Charms commercial and wonder where he's hiding his Soviet-built weapons.
  • You have ever participated in a "who would you cast for a live-action GD?" thread.
    • You STARTED the thread.
  • You watch Top Gun and think "Bah, Ace could beat them in a second".
    • Even Maverick.
    • ESPECIALLY Maverick.
  • You've done up a GD web site.
    • Or two.
  • You see a cassette tape broken open with all the tape unfurled and strewn about and you think, "I wonder if Seance could read THAT".
  • You go through all your old issues looking for Beta phantoms.
    • You do the same in other publications.
    • You PUT Beta phantoms in other publications.
  • You see someone in a dark one-piece jumpsuit and think they're a mage.
  • You've written the team that owns the monster truck "Grave Digger" with a suggestion for some new art on the truck.
  • Your post office hates you for bugging them every day about whether or not there's any new packages for you from San Antonio.
  • You put your computer in the basement and call it 'the lab'.
  • You bought all three Tomb Raiders just to see if you could hack the graphics to look like Gina.
    • You've done this or are doing this to any other computer game.
      • And you have fans/followers because of it.
  • You hear twins say the exact same thing simultaneously and you think "Aah, it's Montara!".
  • You own something called the "Brianna Shrine".. and it ain't a web site.
  • You've ever had over 12 cans of tuna in your shopping cart and said "Woah, that's not enough".
  • You refuse to come into contact with anything that says "Beta" on it.
  • When someone asks you how you feel, your answer is "Warm".